no beauty in words

the beauty no longer persists
not within my mind
escaped
revelry
elsewhere

no words
to utter
to jot

empty solace
given empty
promises

there is none
no more
and for this i weep

time
has come

to let it run
be free
from the trappings
that once i held
firmly
within my very palm

i let you go now

fly
fly free



EDIT: I have been dabbling with my art work during this, um, Temporary retirement,aka layoff.
Linkage is to the right at ArtistRising(My gallery for Giclee&Photgraphic Prints Reproductions of my Originals) AND My store: PushinPaint at cafepress (pretty cool little gift ideas for the Holidays!)
Take a peek, share! I would be indebted to you. THANKS! ~jo

A galaxy of longing: Three Minute freewrite

Prompt #170
A galaxy of Longing


A three minute freewrite:

Looking out upon the darkened sky...into the twinkling of the stars. I wonder,
Wonder if
by some chance

You stare out into the same
THe same darkness
THe same lit heaven

Into the galaxy of longing.

Where wishes came to die.
Hearts were never mended...
And dried upon the table
crumbling off to dust.

Staring off into the abyss
Los tin the color of eyes
Looking
Glaring down

A chill loops through
Runs up the spine

Do you stare off into the distance
Do you see that star
Far off in a space
in a time

where broken promises
Once were truth
where words had meaning
and embraced that very pit

Staring off
The world closes in
faces loom
darkened
darker

off into the galaxy
of longing.

Mood

dark mood. dark and stank. trial and tribulations. dark pounding song. images fill the song. feared and embraced.
and pushing away, pulling back. dark mood. ugly for all to see. to love. to want.
but one.
sharing the glee of muck, of mire and plain old dust.

breathing it in, sucking in whole.
hacking breath
gasping breath
excited
pleading for more

what sick minds share a mood
a sense

delving in a possession on wonderland
or wanderlust

seeking to dig
deeper
inside to toil in

to find that very piece
that very bit

that makes one
one

and tear it to shreds

with an
orgasmic
shudder.

Last Day

Today at 5pm EST is the deadline for the Special on paintings. Until 5 pm you can purchase a painting or request a painting, or confirm, and 100% of proceeds are donated to one of two places, as previously posted, or split between the two.
To view paintings you can go here: Jodi L Ouellette FB page

So far $400.00 dollars has been donated! That is more than what I had expected.

I find this to be a win win event all around. For me, for those who are purchasing, and for those the proceeds will help. And more so, it gives these little works new meaning for me, in knowing, people  will enjoy them on so many levels.
after 5pm, individuals who would like a painting may still contact me to order outside of any sale.

Thank you.

I also wanted to announce, that if anyone purchases my books(links over to the right) $2.00 of EVERY sale will be donated. This will begin Monday October 14th through October 31st 2013, in Honor of my Dad. His birthday is/was October 31st. He passed away 19 years ago, and in his memory, and yo honor his sense of community and giving, I will do this...

Who's in?


Future painting sales are in the works for Thanksgiving...stay tuned!

Peace,

Jodi


Paying it Forward

As you can see, if you've been around these parts before, these are new digs. I am still fiddling with all the elements. Pardon the experience as I work out the kinks.

I have had many inquire about my art work, buying it, the price, etc.
When it comes to art, specifically my own, I tend to give it away. I am not working towards becoming a starving artist. And I am far from an "artist", I like to push paint and then there it is...
I am quite humbled when people like it enough to offer to buy it. Truly, it astounds me.

So here is the deal, since I am terrible at setting prices for my artwork, I have decided for a LIMITED TIME ONLY, select paintings will be available in exchange for a donation in lieu of payment.

When developing this idea, it is unbelievable the amount  of glitches.
How to remit payments, providing proof of donation, etc etc.

Here are the rules:
All sales are final. No refunds. All payments MUST be made to the designated charity/cause and PROOF must be given prior to the delivery of chosen painting. No exceptions.

Those who are looking to donate in lieu, will deal directly with ME(Jodi), to prevent a double purchase. An original is an original, there is only one.

If you like Painting A, email me, message me on Facebook, and then WE will deal directly with each other.

Causes:
Boerboel Rescue North America.  I have a special fondness for Boerboels, as I am owned by two, Odin and Mya. More frequently, Boerboels are finding themselves in shelters, the founders of BRNA, have diligently working to pull, find homes and educate people about the breed. It is, in my world, a worthwhile cause. Their FB PAGE: Boerboel Rescue North America   Info from their FB page:

"As the popularity of the South African Boerboel is growing in the USA this page is to help those that end up at local shelters across the nation. Mission North American Boerboel Rescue, an affiliate of the American Boerboel Club, is a non profit 501c3 group dedicated to the rescue of Boerboels. Our mission is to find lifetime homes. We are a small group of volunteers dedicated to rescuing, nursing back to health and finding forever homes for this beautiful breed. You can help by volunteering or donating to the rescue.." BRNA facebook page

LOCAL food shelf. We have one in town and with the state of our economy, more and more people are finding themselves having to utilize these organizations. For a painting, YOU, the one donating, can donate to YOUR local food shelf, soup kitchen, or church pantries, and provide PROOF. Or, you can make a direct donation to paypal(I will provide the account) and I will make a donation to our local food shelf and provide proof.

There are so many causes, so many people who need assistance in this world. If we all as a collective, could just take five minutes of everyday, to be kind. Just five minutes to show compassion. Just five minutes give something up. Really give something up, not just candy or a coffee, no a part of ourselves. Imagine what a change reaction this could be. I have hope. As much as the world shows its ugly side, I hold onto the hope of increments of beauty in the world. 

So of all the causes that mean so much to me and my family and directly impact those close to me, these are the two for this special. Depending on the "success" I may do it again and ask more artists to become involved.

DATES: Start Wednesday Oct 9th 2013 ENDS Friday Oct 11th 2013.

Pictures of paintings available will be posted by Saturday Oct 5th 2013.

Further details and rules will also be posted.

Donation price points:
Canvas board
8x10 or smaller: a donation of $20.00 add shipping.
11x10, 11x 16, 11x20: a donation of $50.00 add shipping.

Large and Extra large paintings a donation price will be discussed between parties. (me and you) add shipping costs.

For gallery canvas add $10.00 to any other donation price point.

This is not an auction. It is on a first come first serve basis.

More details to come: Bookmark or subscribe to keep posted.
Of course you don't have to donate for a painting...You could just donate. :)
Thank you!!!

Peace,


Paintings are posted here

*Rules and terms are subject to change, prior to the actual event.

Within these Halls

Lost
within these cold wallsbanished
to a life
of banal pomp and circumstance
Keeping appearances to par
convincing the masses
that their kingdom was intact
All shall be protected and safe
Assuring, appeasing their fears
But what of my own?
My blood drained
as yours flooded the fields
defending the principle
Leaving me tempered
and alone
To walk within these halls
of great men
and beautiful ladies
who passed before us
on this journey we partake
To keep free men
free land
I wage my own battles
in solitary refinement
Tears fall onto empty pillows
what greatness
filled the halls
Boisterous boys
playing the game
Now empty
with only echoes of sorrow
I am expected to carry on
within your desires
with no breath to light the fire
Not prepared to give to this land, Peace
As you gave your life to them
Bitterly I anoint
and give of myself, unselfishly
Following your broad steps
I can no longer bear this burden
For without you
There is no sense to this existence.

* Poetically based on a screenplay I wrote*

Broken

The bones
the flesh
broken within.
All that was outward
gone.
Heaved up
spit out
into this pile.
There is no resurrection
of this body.
Laying out
before you.
Beg me
to fix.
I can not.
You are not
in need of material repair.
That twinkle
is there.
Never empty.
The spirit does
dwell.
Do not push aside.
Outwardly
broken
Internally
whole.
It shall only devour
what you give.
Forsake the words
Hold to that which
no one
can retrieve.
Only you
broken
yet
whole.

wait

The crack creates a warbled picture,
as the world goes on living, I feel a perpetual still ness. Yet it all moves out there.
The stream of white fluff, gracing the earth.
Awaiting the warmth to once again
give birth to life

As I wait.

Answers? There are none.
As streams of clear, life
Strains across my cheeks.

I can not fix.
I can not mend.
I can only wait.

To sit next to you.
To hold you.
To share a hankerchief. Soaked with the essence.
The essence of tears, of us.

Prospects of life.
Then there to be none.

I wait.
Here.
I wait.

Ripple



Come
Come play with me

Out here
on the edge.

Come
Dance with me
And I will grace you
with divine glee.

Let me ripple upon your soul.
Let me feel you inside
Dancing within my thoughts.

Come
Come play with me

Let me feel you
Taste you
Inside your mind

Let me tip toe
Within those darkest regions
Expose all that you want

and more what you don't.

Come
Come play with me.

Loathe

Oh how I loathe
the impetuous glee
Oh how I adore
the shattered
which was me
Taking all from within
and tossing out
for all to see

Oh how I loathe thee
Here
now
Never more
to know
never more
to say
I seethe within
these loins
Unrequited
and stupefied
Oh how I loathe
all that you
engorge
to bring this
to light
deep from
the core.
Heaving with
the lot of misfortune
Oh how I loathe you.
From the covers my eyes do peep.
The strain of light mixed with dark.

My body irked at the notion.
Of movement beyond the comfort.

A grumble and a snarky growl...
The morning dew does not drip.
Does not glisten
Oozes along the blades of grass.

The matter of which inhabits this skull
Tormented and sore.

No waking for the wicked
No joy for the blissful.

None.

The Cheery salutation of "Good Morn"
Scorches, like holy water upon the
leathery hide of satan himself.

With lack of sleep and a mood to befit
Good ol Henry himself, I turned myself around
and moved along the stairs
To return to the comfort
The comfort of
My eyes peeping from underneath,
Wrapping myself up in the misery of the week.

Slumber slumber to ease the evils.

And for the lack of coffee in this abode!

***
Hee heee....Ya so I was crabby what can I say. Few things on the agenda today. Nothing extremely noteworthy or overly exciting in nature.




I dance


I dance
Interwoven within the color
of your dreams
My silhouette
glides effortlessly across
your lids.
I dance.
In your mind.
Probing, inching myself forward,
plunging
deep
to your core.
My image
burned Inside
Captivating you
I dance
Ever so lightly
So close to the edge
Toes curl
pirouetting along the cliff.
Stirring your heart,
exalted gasps.
As I flutter
on the cusp.
I dance
I tempt
With in the color of your dreams
For you.

*art by lydibug at deviantart

Quiet eyes

quiet eyes
rest on quiet lies
seeking fortitude and
serene conquests.

amongst ruins
mine or yours

caverns run
run deep

over mountains made of
hills
silent small
tiny little hills

exploding out
drizzling the scape

quiet eyes
rest
within quiet lies

That Letter today

I wrote to you today, a letter sent
did you get it
Unsure of how it truly works
here in this world
of unknown.

I missed you today
here
the days are long
they are bright and sunny
if that it was
you dream

It's not the same here
almost feel lost

But not alone. Remember we would talk, about what it would be like?
It is almost dream like, waking up everyday, wondering if I am truly awake, or lost in some netherworld.
Until I realize you are not here, to wake up beside me.
Tis not a dream.

I wrote you a letter today
Did the sun peer in and wake you from your slumber?
Did the snow cover your world, and tuck you in?

Did you hear me laughing down the hall and then walk and remember I am not there.
That was me, my letter to you!
Did the bird catch your eye as you walked pass the door?
Did the colors engulf you and warm your heart?
I am sure you brushed it off
Being silly again.

I wrote you a letter today
So you'd know I am not far.
Still walking beside you
Drying your tears, hugging you close.
In desperation, leaving you moments of thought
however fleeting

Leaving them in moments of happiness
to remember all that is good
your mind is not playing
you are not going mad

I wrote you that letter today.

Jodi L Ouellette (c) 2008

I am aware...

Of your presence
You need not
Say a word

I can feel you

It's been a long time.
The years stretched
At times
They yawned.

Leading to
A time
This time
When the moment

Of knowing
You'd return

This space
Devoid

No one to leave
Them for
You ran away

From what
Is there an answer
A truth

I can feel you
Sitting
Wondering

Your presence
Pounds

I can feel you.

Evils of the Mind

The evil that dwells within. Devours, is mine and mine alone. That which has cast itself amongst all that is known. All that is loved.

A perception of the mind.
Intertwined within the words, hovers a life. An existence beyond all others...
And at times found wasted crumbled on the dirt path.
Breath in.
Breath out.
Dust floats and falls.
Floats and falls.

The mind, when in too deep, looking behind the crevices, is a dark, stank place. No words can label that which is and yet there it sits. With a sickening smile and chuckles.
Sipping from a glass made of souls. Damn him!

Although this part of the path only appears when a weakness settles to stay. One perceives it as this weakness. When all the strength cradles within leaps...
Leaps...no faith. No ...

Empty. And yet we carry ourselves through day in and day out. The smile glued upon the face, or is it that mask? New day, new face as the insides are devoured.
Ripping the bones from head to toe and managing a smile.

Thus the retreat back into where we are safe. No light, no air choking on the knowledge we choose and are not chosen.
And, accept it.

A semblance of a life.

Not afraid.
Not alone.

It just is.
You peered into my
being.

You wrote it for all to see.

Paced across
my vision
and yet you have no face.

Yet you stood
right there...
Right
there.

scribbles on paper
stolen from my mind

have i truly become
transparent?

that the essence of what
of who
just oozes out
onto your
paper?

that you have this uncanny
strange ability to reach in
and pull the strings
tying them in knots

almost feeling
the suffocation
whilst liberation

a sickening
awakening, stirs within

spilled out
pushed forth

dripping over the edge

all
every word

and somehow i missed you.

defined and dead



I

Hate

These walls.

Despise that
they

exist.

I sit
Within them.

Encased
On a shelf.
In warbled glass
Covered in putrid
film
cloudy
sticky
Labled.
Defined
and dead.
A mere
experiment.
Rotting
essence
of
my heart.

whisper

A wishful lull
in speech of a few.

Your silence buried
deep within
cutting

splintered
and wilted
your words drip

sliding off the page.

In all of your silence.

Gratification
delayed none.

whispered
bellowed

undulating into
the very being
lost in your words.

One's lull
another yearning
an escape
clouded
preened
to be

all pretty
and neat.

Whisper.

Come on

whisper.

Of Who...

In the absence of who
Lost in the what
wandering amongst the where
Concerned of when
Knowing
I am here
not there
Still
in the absence of
Me.


*My second Book title "In the Absence of Me" 

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